Carson's last summer

I was standing at the kitchen sink, rinsing out my coffee cup, when I heard the sound of the lawn mower being fired up, and I couldn't help but chuckle as I peeked out the window and saw my industrious young neighbor, Carson Taylor pushing the machine along.
The lawn needed mowing maybe three times a month, but this must have been the third time young Carson had come over to do it this week. I didn't have the heart to tell him not to do it, because he seemed to enjoy doing it, or at least that was what he claimed when he offered to start doing it last year.

Before then, my life partner Jeff had done the lawn work while I tended to the gardening, but after he passed away in that car accident almost two years ago, Carson volunteered his services, and when I checked with his mother to make sure it was okay with her, she was all for it.

Times have changed, I thought to myself. It had become common knowledge that I was gay, but in the ten years Jeff and I had lived in this neighborhood we hadn't gotten even a hint of resentment from anyone. We lived our lives, acted just as responsibility as every other couple, and were treated with respect.

The support I received from the neighbors after Jeff's tragic accident was overwhelming, and was another indication about how much things have changed. Part of it was having enjoyed a wonderful 35 year career as an educator, and Jeff having been a well-known accountant, I suppose, and part was also that most people these days really don't seem to care about people being gay.

Carson saw me looking out at him while I was daydreaming and waved, breaking me out of my reminiscing. His smile was infectious, and as I watched him scoot along behind the mower, he made me wish that I was his age, because he was a heart-breaker.

Carson was gay, or at least I believe that was what my "gaydar" was telling me, although I had no real evidence of that. I had picked that vibe up a while back, and while I doubt his mother knew, it somehow seemed obvious to me. Maybe because he would flirt with me a lot, like he was now. It might not have been intentional, but that was the way I saw it. Even if he was doing it on purpose, it was harmless fun as far as I was concerned, because he was just being kidding around, and there was no way that he would be interested in somebody over three times his age.

Then again, when I was Carson's age I had been very attracted to older men. My first experience was with a much older gentlemen, and found myself drawn the them, and them to me as well. In fact, the only real relationship I ever had with a younger man was with Jeff, who was half my age when we met when I was 45.

So I had no delusions about Carson being interested in me like "that", not that I would mind because Carson was now 18, and I had even been to his birthday and graduation parties to prove it, but I have socks older than Carson. It's just that being around a lad and watching him grow up, I didn't feel right about looking at him like I sometimes did.

All my career I had been extremely careful, not wanting to give the slightest impression of impropriety because while I loved children, I did NOT like them in that way. Having been a victim in a way of that sort of thing long ago, I had vowed that would never be something I would do, and that vow was kept.

The sun was out, making Carson's blonde hair glow even brighter than it usually did, and with the sun coming out Carson saw fit to stop the mower and take off his shirt. I took a deep breath, exhaling upward to cool my face as I looked at my neighbor.

This was a distraction I didn't need, seeing Carson naked to the waist. Bare chested and wearing only shorts, socks and sneakers on, I realized that I was not going to get much writing done until Carson was done. Not that my novel in progress was all that great, and certainly not as interesting as Carson.

Carson was a long way away from the grubby little kid that used to deliver newspapers. He was about six foot tall, and while he might be carrying a couple of extra pounds on his frame, it looked good on him. Long blonde hair that bounced as he moved, and aquamarine eyes that must have melted hearts of both genders during his high school days didn't hurt either.

I couldn't have him running around out there like that with the sun out, so I got my bottle of sunscreen and stepped outside, motioning for Carson to stop mowing.

"Morning Mr. Brady," Carson chirped as he walked toward me. "Thought I'd give your lawn a trim. Didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, Carson. I get up with the sun, but I don't want you out here in the sun without protection," I said as I handed him the lotion.

"You're as bad as my Mom," Carson said as he reluctantly took the tube from me.

"You'll thank us both someday," I said while fighting a losing battle trying not to look at Carson oiling his chest.

Carson had the slightest swells of man boobs, muscle not fat these days, and as he greased up I noticed that Carson had sprouted a couple of little blonde hairs around his plump nipples, the only foliage on an otherwise smooth chest, and I cursed myself for being so aware of his body.

The tiny trail of golden hairs that started under his navel and disappeared at the top of his shorts, that was new too, I noted before forcing myself to look over at the bird feeder before I was caught leering, and I could only hope that Carson didn't have extra-sensory perception.

"Mr. Brady?" Carson said, forcing me to look back at him. "Could you um - do my back?"

Those eyes, so innocent looking as he held out the tube of lotion with his right hand while reaching back behind his head to demonstrate how he couldn't reach.

"Sure," I said as I took the tube from Carson, trying not to look at the nicely defined muscles in his upraised arm or the delightful spray of hair that filled the hollow of his exposed armpit, hair so blond that you could hardly see it there.

Jeff used to love it when I would nibble under his arms, and I wondered whether Carson had experienced that yet. Did that cute Asian guy I had seen Carson with a few months ago explore those sweet scented hollows? Had they been lovers?

As I walked behind Carson and squeezed some lotion into my hand, Carson raised both hands to lift his locks off of his neck, and that didn't make this easier because now I got to see his nicely muscled shoulders in all their glory. Not overly so, but well defined and hard to the touch as I worked the lotion into them.

My hands went downward, over his back which bore only the faintest evidence of a bout of acne in his early teens that had nearly vanished, and as I went down to his shorts I was glad that I was done, because despite my age I can still get aroused and the evidence of that was obvious in the front of my slacks.

"There you go Carson," I said, trying to hide the tent in my pants as I walked around to the door. "If you want a drink or something, just come in and help yourself."

Stepping inside, I shook my head and went to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me.

"Good grief man," I said to myself, shaking my head in disgust as I went to the toilet and tried to pry my erection out of my pants so I could take a leak, but that wasn't going to work in this condition.

Somehow I found myself over at the window, looking out to the back yard at Carson, and as I looked through the curtains at Carson hard at work, his body glistening with the lotion I had just applied, my hands went to my belt, and when that came loose my trousers fell to the tile and I became an adolescent again in my mind.

My hard, still slick with sunscreen, glided effortlessly up and down the length of my manhood without shame. My embarrassment would come later, when I would clean the mess I would make, but now my thoughts were elsewhere, focused in the backyard.

I had done this once before, masturbating like a teenager while undressing Carson with my eyes, and just like last time, when I came, the force of my orgasm made my head spin as I sent a ridiculous amount of semen into the washcloth I was holding to catch what I could.

Squeezing out the last few drops of cum, I milked my deflating member dry before going to the sink and cleaning it better, taking a perverse pleasure in noting that despite more than 62 years of hanging around between my legs, it still worked pretty well.

The real guilt came when I looked out at Carson when I went back to the kitchen, and more so when we exchanged some words before he went home. Poor young fellow, I thought to myself. If you only knew what I was thinking.

....

"I'm heading out west next Thursday," Carson announced after he finished the lawn, apparently for the final time ever, and it was probably a good thing because I hadn't been able to get going on my long-gestating novel with young Carson around mowing and gardening three times a week.

Sometimes I got the feeling that he was teasing me, and while that was absurd on the face of it, at the very least he was doing his best to make me as aroused as a 62 year old man could be.

The last time Carson had been over, I casually asked whatever happened to that nice Asian lad I used to see him with, and when I saw his reaction I could tell that my suspicions had been correct.

"Ken?" Carson replied, his usual broad smile shrinking as he spoke. "We had - a falling out."

"I'm sorry. That happens," I responded, and it was easy to see that they had been more than friends.

All I could think of was that Ken certainly missed out on a good thing, and could only wish that I could become 40 years younger. Now Carson telling me he was about to be going to college meant that my first fall of being retired would find me doing my own lawn work.

Just as well, I mused. Now I can work uninterrupted on my novel, I declared to myself. No more gazing out the window at my young neighbor and dreaming about what would never be.

"I knew the day would be coming soon," I said as I poured Carson a glass of lemonade before handing him an envelope along with the money I owed him for his work.

"What's this?" Carson asked as he looked at the envelope.

"Call it a bonus for all your work this summer and last," I explained as he opened it up, and when he saw the number of bills and the denominations his face showed the shock.

"I can't take this," Carson said.

"You earned it," I said, pushing it back across the table at him. "I'm sure you can use it for books and things, and besides, you don't want to make an old retired geezer mad now, do you? Please - take it with my thanks."

"You're not old," Carson said, opening the envelope up, and while it was probably a lot of money for an 18 year old, in reality it was nothing more than a way for me to thank him for not only his efforts but for him making my days brighter with his presence.

"Thank you," Carson said, rising up, and I thought he was going to shake my hand but instead came all the way around and knelt down next to my chair and gave me a hug, and after whispering another thank you I felt him kiss me on the cheek.

"Sorry," Carson blushed. "I'm all sweaty."

"It's fine," I assured him while wanting to tell him that he could sweat on me for the rest of the summer if he wanted.

"Don't know how to thank you," Carson said after folding the envelope and putting it in his pocket.

"Want to thank me?" I responded with a smile. "Tell me you know somebody who can do the job you've done the last couple of years on the lawn. They don't have to come as often as you did, just enough so I don't have to it."

"Guess I was a pain in the butt, huh Mr. Brady?" Carson suggested, and after I assured him that he was anything but, he continued. "Don't have all that many friends, and I liked coming over to see you. The lawn work just gave me an excuse."

"You didn't need an excuse," I told him. "Especially these days, I enjoyed your company a great deal."

"I have to tell you something," Carson said, his cheerful expression fading. "Something I did a while back to you that I felt really guilty about."

"I can't imagine what that would be."

"Back when Mr. Shaffer..."

"Jeff," I corrected with a smile. "Paul would always hate it when people would call him mister. Said it made him feel old."

"Okay. Back when Jeff was here, I guess somehow I found out that your guys were - you know - gay. Up until then I thought that it was something to be ashamed of, but you guys were so normal and all that it seemed right."

"Don't know how normal we were, but we tried to be good citizens and neighbors," I said.

"Everybody looked up to you, even my folks. Sometimes they can be a bit much but they always said how your were a nice couple and a lot more normal and honest that most other people around here were."

"That's nice to hear. Your folks are good people."

"Well, it was more important to me, because I didn't understand what being gay was. I thought it was something to be ashamed of. I didn't know any gay guys in school back then, so I thought I was - you know - weird because while everybody else was chasing girls, I didn't have any interest in that. I wanted to live like you two."

"If it's any consolation, I had a feeling you were gay, or at least you had leanings that way," I said. "So if that's what you're trying to say, it's nothing to feel guilty about, and if we had any part in you feeling good about yourself, I'm delighted and I know if he were here Jeff would be as well."

"But I didn't know anything, and I wanted to know things," Carson said. "Sometimes I would come over at night and look in your bedroom window. I'm sorry. I only did it a few times, but it was wrong and I also felt horrible about it."

"It's over and done with," I said, and while it was a bit disconcerting to think someone was watching, I understood.

"Usually it was just you two walking around, being a couple just like my folks. I never really saw anything except this one time," Carson admitted. "The last time, and it was beautiful. I had no idea men could be so beautiful."

"Oh!" I replied. "Well, Jeff was a very handsome man."

"I didn't mean him. Not just him at least. I loved looking at both of you, and would have given anything to have been him that night."

I had the feeling that Carson must have practiced the speech for a while beforehand, but while the delivery may have been a bit stilted, the words and emotion was real.

"After that, I used to try to get you to notice me," Carson said. "I was hoping that you would fall in love with me, and right after Jeff died, I really tried harder to get you to notice me. I wanted to hold you and tell you how much I cared about you."

I felt my eyes welling up, and had to bite my lip as Carson poured his heart out about his frustration in being a teenager, and even though it had been nearly 5 decades for me I recalled the raging urges and emotions and the struggles with coming to terms with your sexuality.

"I finally figured out that I was in love with you," Carson said as he watched for my reaction.

"I also knew that you weren't ever going to love me, and certainly were not interested in a kid my age, so I told myself to wait until I turned 18, even though I knew in my heart that you weren't going to have any one night stand with anybody. I've been watching, not sure whether I wanted someone to start showing up at your place or not. I wanted you to be happy, but a part of me - this is stupid."

"It's not stupid," I assured Carson as I reached across the table and put my hand on his. "I'm so flattered that I can't describe it."

"You know at my birthday party, when my Mom made me blow out the candles and make a wish?" Carson asked, and I nodded. "My wish was that you would take me home with you that night and do to me what you did to Jeff that night. It's been the one recurring fantasy I've had."

"You didn't, of course. Those birthday wishes never come true," Carson lamented with a smile. "I never got the dirt bike I wished for a few years back either."

"Anyway, I wanted to apologize, even though I guess you didn't know I was a Pepping Tom. I want to say I'm sorry I did it, but I'm not," Carson concluded. "I am sorry for violating your privacy though. Yours and Jeff's, but you were so beautiful together. Just wanted you to know."

"Apology accepted," I said. "Like I said, I'm flattered. I don't know what night this was, but we had many nights that I thought were magical, and it's nice to know that it might not just have been that way in my mind."

"It was a Friday night," Carson said. "It was cloudy, and I had been hanging out on our porch when I saw your living room light go out. I ran across the street and looked in your bedroom window. The curtains had a little opening and when the breeze would come up they would flutter a little because the window was open a bit."

"I could see you going around the room lighting candles," Carson continued. "You had this silky looking robe on, it made you look like a prince or something. As you moved the robe swung open and when I saw you - your penis - I was stunned. Back then I didn't really have much experience and I didn't realize a man could be so large, and the way it swayed from side to side was so erotic."

"Then Jeff came into the room behind you and kissed your neck. Maybe he said something funny because you laughed, and then he slipped the robe off your shoulders and reached around and took your penis in his hand. He just kept nuzzling into your neck while he stroked you."

I took a sip of lemonade, shifting awkwardly in my seat to mask the fact that Carson's storytelling was making me very aroused. All the memories of Jeff came rushing back and I was becoming overcome with a flood of emotions of many kinds.

"Your penis kept getting bigger as he kept stroking, and I was jerking off while I watched. By the time you were erect I was cumming all over the side of your house, and then you two went down onto the bed and went down on each other. It was so beautiful the way you rolled around on the bed while making love to each other, and then when I thought it couldn't get any better, it did."

"I was so ignorant back then, so when you had Jeff kneeling in front of you, I didn't understand at first," Carson continued. "I remembering cringing when I figured out what you were going to do to him, but then I saw how much he was enjoying it, and how happy you both looked while you made love... I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I said, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

"I didn't mean to make you sad."

"You didn't, Carson," I explained. "These aren't tears of sadness. You're bringing back very pleasant memories."

"Well, I stayed at the window all the while you made love, Even masturbated again after you were done and were holding each other," Carson said as he blushed. "Wishing I was Jeff."

"I don't know what to say," I managed after a moment of silence. "You certainly..."

"I was hoping you would say that you find me attractive," Carson said in a shaky voice. "I was hoping one day you would say that you wanted to take me inside and make my fantasy come true."

"Carson," I said. "You're very attractive but..."

"But," Carson said. "It's okay. You don't have to say it. At least I tried. Kinda dumb to think that a man like you would be interested in a kid who jacks off outside his window but at least know you know how I feel."

"Don't go," I said as Carson started to rise, putting my hand on his to stop him. "You don't understand."

***

"You did?" Carson said incredulously after I told him about what I had done while watching him in the yard.

"So you aren't alone in being a little strange at times," I said after confessing my little secret. "I may be over-the-hill but I'm not too old to be aroused being around a gorgeous young man like you. I guess the problem is that I still see you as a child, when in fact you're no longer a child. You're a man in every sense of the word.""Almost," Carson said. "You could help in that way - help to make me a man."

"I think you may have built up an image of me over time that isn't really true," I said. "Besides, I'm older now and not nearly..."

"Just to hold me," Carson said. "To let me lay in your arms for a while. If you didn't or couldn't - you know - that's okay."

"Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow night?" I heard myself ask softly. "About seven?"

***

I stepped out of the shower that next night, and while drying my thinning hair looked at my image in the mirror, was baffled by how someone as physically attractive as Carson could consider me good looking.

Maybe I was okay in my day, but my day was a while back, so while I might be okay for a man of 62, I was still a man of 62. In my eyes I looked about as sexy as Mister Rogers.

The hair on my chest was once dark brown, but then became sort of salt and pepper. Now, the salt was clearly winning. I had developed man boobs of sorts, but mostly not muscle like Carson's were, and I was grateful that my chest hair was thick enough to hide much of it.

My pubic bush was salt and pepper too, and as I looked at the trimming job I had done on what had become a jungle since Jeff's passing made gardening down there unnecessary, my eyes went to the object that seemed to have caught Carson's eye.

"At least that still works," I sighed as I took the flaccid tube and gave it a gentle tug, but then again I hadn't been with anyone since Jeff, and then with Jeff only for all those years.

What if, I wondered? Carson did say that he only wanted to be held, but I suspected he wanted more. I know I did. The young man seemed to be fascinated with the size of me, but what difference did it make how big it is if it didn't work? It had worked fine yesterday when I jerked off like a schoolboy ogling Carson, but that was yesterday.

In my youth being "extremely well endowed" - those were the words Father Riley had used while seducing me in the rectory one day after choirboy practice - had gotten me a lot of attention, but that superficiality mattered less and less to me as the years went by, and by the time I had met Jeff it meant nothing at all.

Sighing, I pulled back my foreskin to make sure I had done a good job in cleaning before ending my self-examination and getting dressed. I decided to wear a decent shirt and tie, a change of sorts because dressing for dinner was a thing of the past. Who dresses up to eat alone?

I was considering wearing a suit but didn't want to make Carson feel awkward so I stuck with the shirt and tie. A good thing too, because when Carson arrived he was dressed much like I was, only looking so much better. He was a heart-breaker that made me wish I was 40 years younger for him.

Who was more nervous? It was a toss-up, but I think I managed to hide my nervousness better than Carson, who almost dropped the little bag he handed me.

"Wine?" I said as I retracted the bottle of Pinot Noir, a decent mid-priced brand that I happened to be familiar with, and I was not only struck by the classy gesture but was surprised that he was able to buy wine since he wasn't 21.

I asked him whether he borrowed this from his folks since he wasn't old enough to purchase it on his own, but as it turned out he had a friend buy it for him.

"Nice to have friends like that," I said with a smile. "Back when I was your age you only had to be 18 to buy alcohol. Now you're allowed to die for your country at 18 but not buy wine."

I had made a very simple dinner, filet mignon and baked potato, keeping it basic, and the dinner went well. I learned about Carson's plans for college and how he looked at going out west to school with a mixture of fear and excitement.

45 years ago I had done something similar, so I could relate and told him about how certain I was that he would do just fine. Carson was such good company that the time flew by, and as we finished the last of the wine I looked up at the clock.

"Getting late," I said. "Care to turn in with me?"

Carson nodded, and I put my arm around him shoulder and escorted him out of the kitchen and down the hall to my bedroom. On the way Carson asked to use the bathroom, which gave me the time to do what I had planned.

I lit the candles - candles that were still where they had always been but hadn't been lit in years, and after turning the pictures of Jeff face down - stupid I know but that's me - debated for a second before quickly undressing and putting on the old robe that Carson seemed to like.

"Some prince," I muttered to myself, figuring that at least it might get a laugh from Carson.

I didn't feel like a prince but more like a old predator, and I forced myself to remember this wasn't Carson the paperboy with the runny nose, this was Carson the man, and he was as much the seducer as I was.

I heard a gasp from the doorway, waking me from my daydream, and apparently Carson didn't think I looked as silly as I felt because even in the candlelight I could see Carson's eyes filling as I shrugged at him.

"Thanks for not laughing," I said.

"Laughing? You look incredible, just like you - thank you."

I held my arms out and we met halfway. I whispered, "Permit me," when Carson started to undo his tie, and then I undressed him.

The tie came undone and then I unbuttoned his shirt as slowly as I could, enjoying undressing the last man I would ever be with. I hadn't know that the last time Jeff and I made love would actually be the last time, but this I knew would be it for me, and I wanted to savor and remember every moment.

I pulled the shirt off of Carson's shoulders, muscular shoulders I had spread lotion on yesterday, and after discarding the shirt I rubbed them once again, relishing the nicely toned body that was warm and smooth.

My fingers stroked the little hairs around his nipples, watching the plump nubs swell under my touch. Putting my hand flat on his chest, I could feel his heart pounding away, and we shared a smile before I knelt down and undid his belt. and had him step out of his trousers.

I let my legs slide down Carson's muscular legs, the feel of the golden hair that coated them sending shivers down my spine as I stared ahead a the pouch in Carson's underwear. Looking up at the ceiling, Carson seemed to be dreading what was coming next because his hands were clenched into fists.

I put my hand on the bulge and squeezed it gently, causing Carson to groan, and then I reached up and took the elastic of his underwear in hand and slowly lowered them down past the golden tuft of hair above his manhood before exposed him.

His penis was beautiful. Not large and maybe not even average in length, but it was gorgeous. Pale white in hue, with only a single little vein running down the middle of it, and the glans of his circumcised organ was conically shaped, much like Paul's had been.

Underneath, Carson's balls were tightly wrapped in a hairless pouch that I knew would loosen as he got less nervous, and it was his nerves that I wanted to ease when I leaned forward and kissed the head of his cock before opening my mouth and taking it in.

From up above I heard Carson groan as my lips went down to the root of his member, and as his downy pubic hair filled my eyes I felt his cock surge. By the time my mouth slid back up to the tip he was nearly erect and after my lips went back down he was hard and throbbing.

I leaned back and looked at his erection, which was a perfect mouthful, and while I suspected that Carson thought it was small I thought it was perfect and would have gladly traded it for my own.

I stood up rather gracefully for me and ran my hands through his long blond hair before taking his face in my hands and kissing him and tenderly as I could.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?" I asked Carson.

Carson's hands came up to the lapels of the robe and he slid it off my shoulders with fingers that were noticeably trembling. His erection was poking into my pubic hair as I became as naked as he was, and after looking at my chest he ran his hands through the hair briefly before leaning forward and putting his arms around me.

"How many nights I went to bed, hugging my pillow like this and wishing it was you," Carson whispered as we embraced, and the feeling of Carson's body against mine was intoxicating, as was the feeling of our cocks rubbing against each other's, his hard and mine getting there, and Carson must have liked it too because he was grinding himself into me.

"Lucky pillow," I said as I nuzzled into his neck, grateful that we were almost the same height.

"I could cum just like this," Carson said.

"Don't," I said as I moved us toward the bed. "Don't cum yet."

Easing Carson down into the fresh bedding, I crawled down between his thighs and parted them. He cock was arched back on his belly, exposing his scrotum, which was now relaxed and hung low. Nice sized balls, perfect for sucking, which was just what I was about to do.

I rolled each testicle in my mouth lovingly, savoring Carson's legs twitching and churning as I suckled on the little orbs, and when I licked my way up to the underside of his cock and raked my tongue up to the tip, I saw a string of pre-cum hanging onto his flat stomach and lapped it up.

Carson was groaning, and I suspected he could cum any moment. I knew being a young buck he could reload fast, unlike myself, but I wanted to make him wait so I nibbled my way up the light trail of golden hair that led up to his belly button. Carson was clenching the sheets as his legs churned, but as I slid my body up along his I grabbed his wrist on the way.

His nipples - those plump swells that had seemed so suckable yesterday in the yard, proved to be just that, and while I nibbled on them I felt our cocks and balls rubbing together down below. Carson certainly noticed as well, seeming to revel in the feelings of the undersides of our members - his erect and mine on the way - and did everything he could to keep it going.

"Feels so good," Carson gasped.

"Supposed to," I replied as I took the wrist I was holding and brought it back over his head.

This made his nicely toned bicep bulge prominently, I noticed while sucking his nipple, so I went over and kissed the rippling muscle before kissing my way up to Carson's exposed armpit, nuzzling into the wild spray of golden hair which was as soft as a cloud to my cheeks.

Carson groaned as I continued to nuzzle under his arm, kissing and tonguing the sweet hollow while savoring the aroma of his masculinity along with thankfully little chemical residue, and after switching over to the other side decided that Carson had waited long enough.

I slid my body back down the same way I that gone up, and when I pulled his arching erection upright it was angry looking and throbbing in my grasp. I delayed his orgasm as long as I dared before sliding my lips down and sucking it out of him.

He cried out as jets of his seed spurted down my throat, the force of which almost overwhelmed me, but I recovered and kept sucking while his cock jerked and jerked in my mouth until finally his body relaxed and his penis went limp.

After lavishing a little more affection on his spent manhood, I climbed up to cuddle with Carson, whose face and neck were flushed and sweaty and whose eyes were watery.

"Not supposed to be," he sobbed before breaking down a little bit, burying his face in my neck before he composed himself a bit. "Not supposed to be better than I dreamed it would be. That was so... can't describe it. Thank you so much. Want to make you happy too."

"You just did," I responded, but Carson was already moving.

Carson mimicked much of what I had done to him, which was fine by me, all the while running his hands through the hair on my chest. If his intentions were to excite me, mission accomplished, because when he got down to my cock I was as hard as I could get these days.

He looked up at me tentatively, my erection in his hands, and then lowered his mouth down on me. His lips moved slowly at first, thankfully not retracting my foreskin or else I would have cum right away, because looking at that beautiful lad with my member in his mouth was the sweetest sight I had seen in quite some time.

Up and down Carson's mouth went, working down about halfway and using his hands on the rest. He was doing a good job, ducking down to suck on my balls a couple of times in between. I was savoring the moment, determined to make this last, but I guess Carson must have thought my not cumming was because he was doing a bad job.

"No babe," I said, reaching down and running my hand through his long hair. "I'm making this last as long as I can, because this will be the last time I'm going to be with a man."

"Don't say that," he said.

"If you're getting tired..."

"No!" Carson said quickly, looking over at my cock, which he was stroking with long and sensuous pulls, sliding his saliva all the way down the shaft. "Wish I could deep throat you though."

I wanted to say that I wished he, or anybody else could, because I think that it must feel great to have your entire manhood in your lover's mouth. Jeff had gotten great at it, but he could never quite get to the last inch or so. Jeff had always sworn that someday he would do it, and he might have eventually, but we ran out of time.

"You're doing wonderfully," I said. "Just remember that I'm not 18 so I'm not getting any second chances here. I don't want this to end."

"In that case," Carson said, and then he told me - explained that if I was only going to cum once, he knew where he wanted it to end.

"Carson, I don't know if I can."

"Please?" he said.

"Swing around," I said, getting Carson to climb around so that his crotch was over my face, and as he went back to getting me head I looked up.

Carson's cock was almost hard again already, and as I started licking his scrotum on my way to the destination I wondered whether I would be able to do what he wanted.

Getting hard enough to ejaculate is one thing, but getting firm enough to do what Carson wanted - well, that was something else all together. I can't say the sight of his little bubble butt wasn't enticing, and the thought of having Carson anally had crossed my mind, but not in a serious sense.

I didn't want to hurt the lad either, and would have been perfectly happy doing what we were doing all night, but Carson was sincere and insistent.

My tongue ran along the underside of his scrotum and then traced his perineum while spreading his firm buttocks and eyeing the prize. I was not surprised that Carson was fastidious hygienically, and that tiny pink knot looked virginal in every way.

Carson shuddered when my tongue made its way up to the little balloon knot. Perhaps he wasn't expecting me to lick him there, and he certainly was shocked when I pushed the tip of my tongue inside of him, but seemed to be liking it.

Did I have lube? I had no idea. It would be in the drawer of the night table, but I hadn't had the need for it in so long. I couldn't imagine breaking the mood of the moment, jumping out of the bed with the candlelight flickering around us, and explaining that I had to go down to Walgreen's and would be back in a while.

That wouldn't do at all, but I could never take Carson without lube. I would tear him up, and no matter how much I rimmed him it would not be good enough to make up for that. Meanwhile, Carson had kept me hard all this time, and I couldn't take much more of that, so I eased out from under him and reached into the drawer.

A paperback novel... toenail clippers... assorted papers... voila! There it was. Not a lot but certainly enough. Carson was looking over his shoulder at me, on his hands and knees, and when he saw what I holding he smiled.

Climbing back on the bed, I slathered the cool gel on my hot poker before oiling my index finger and sliding it into him. Condom? I hadn't used them in decades so even if there were any around they would be worthless. I knew that I was okay, so Carson would be safe, but I didn't know that Carson had even done this before.

"Carson," I whispered. "I don't have any protection. I was always tested but..."

"And I'm a virgin," he said while wiggling his butt back into my finger. "We're good - want to feel you. Just you. Please?"

That settled, I kept working my finger around while stroking myself lightly. The sight of that cute butt was enough to keep me pretty hard, and as I worked a second finger in, now all I had to worry about was getting inside an opening that seemed impossibly tight. If I could somehow get in, I knew that tightness would be enough to make me harder, and as I looked down at Carson's beautiful backside as he presented himself to me for the taking I was hard as steel - 62 year old steel that is.

I didn't want to look but couldn't help it as I brought the tip of my dick to the opening and nudged forward. Carson made a grunting sound and buried his face in the bedding, and I tried not to listen as I strained to get the head of my member inside of the lad.

Suddenly, the ridge of my glans popped in, and as I lurched forward Carson cried out.

"Yes! Omigod - don't stop," he whimpered as I slid deeper and deeper into his previously virginal orifice.

I started moving the half of me that he had taken in and out while holding his hips, and whispering to him, asking whether he was okay.

"Yes - it's great. More - harder," he grunted, and while I thought he was just putting on a front for me, when I reached around to grab his cock it took a minute to find it because he was so hard it had curled up toward his stomach.

"Omigod that's so good," Carson groaned as I stroked his manhood while moving in and out of him.

I was stunned at how hard I was, and equally shocked at how eager Carson was to take more and more of me, and to have me go harder and harder. Soon I was impaling him with darn near my entire cock. and was settling into a old familiar rhythm.

It would be nice to say that we made love for hours, but when you're my age five minutes is forever, at least physically when you're doing something like this I was for the first time in years. Then I myself found becoming crouched over Carson like a preying mantis devouring his victim, and while I knew I would pay for this contortion in the morning, I didn't care. My hands were grabbing everything I could of Carson's, pulling on his nipples and yanking on his cock while fighting back the urge to cum myself.

Just before I came, Carson let out a howl that was so loud I was hoping his folks didn't have their windows open, and then I felt his cock go limp in my fist. I let myself go as well, retracting my cock almost all the way out and then easing all the way back in while I ejaculated, filling Carson's bowels with my seed until I had no more to give.

Carson's back was covered with sweat - mine and his - and I saw that there were scratches there that weren't there before either. My bad, I thought while running my hand over the pink wet skin before straightening up with considerable effort.

My cock was deflating, and I always made a point of watching as it popped out, always getting a perverse kick out of seeing the golf ball sized hole that remained after I exited a man, knowing that within a minute or two all would be back to normal.

Satisfied and dead, I rolled over to the side of my young lover, who was only then taking his face out of the bedding.

"You okay?" I added, and he smiled that infectious smile and nodded.

"Thank you - thanks for making me a man."

"You were a man before tonight," I said. "How I envy the guy who ends up with you. I wish I was 40 years younger."

"What difference does that make?" Carson asked as he rolled onto his side to face me, running his fingers through the hair on my chest."You'll find out in 44 years," I said with a laugh.

"You didn't mean that," Carson asked. "What you said before about never being with another guy again?"

"Of course I did," I said. "I'm way too old and square for one-night stands, and besides, I wanted to go out on a high note and it doesn't get any better than this."

"I was good?" he asked.

"We were good," I corrected. "Nobody is ever good by themselves."

"I come home for the holidays," Carson said. "Early December. Why couldn't we..."

"Carson, you're going to find somebody special. Believe me, and then this will just be a memory - a pleasant one but a memory nonetheless."

"And what if I don't?"

"We'll see," I said. "December's a long time away."

***

As it turned out, December came and as promised Carson returned. We had dinner again and he told me how well he was doing in school, and then we went to bed. While not as magical as the first time, of course, it was close enough for us.

That was three years ago. In between Carson and I got together every time he came home. Not always for sex, although that did happen from time to time. Many times it would be just us talking, and occasionally just hugging and holding each other.

Carson is now a senior in college and well on his way to a successful life. The last time he visited he had dinner with me, and then broke the news. I could tell by the look in his eyes that we wouldn't be going to bed that evening, and likely never again. Carson had met somebody. Somebody special at school, and I was just as thrilled as he was.

"An older man," Carson said with a chuckle before adding, "24. I think I'm in love."

I was excited for him and told him so, and the next week his friend came to meet Carson's folks. During the visit he brought the young man over, a very handsome fellow who was most congenial, and better yet, when I saw them together I saw the chemistry between them. It was something I was already familiar with because I had enjoyed it myself for many years.

"Thank you for introducing me to your man," I told Carson before he went back, chiding him for giving such lavish praise to me when he had done the intro. "You two look great together."

"I think so too," Carson said. "Wouldn't have been able to do it without you though. You were special. You taught me everything."

"Nonsense."

"You were a role model for me," he said. "You and Jeff both were. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to be what I am."

So off they went, back to college, and that night I turned the pictures of Jeff back to their proper positions. I had continued to turn them upside down whenever Carson would visit, but now there would no longer be any need for that, and that's the way it should be. I have been able to go out on a high note and was left with incredible memories of two wonderful men. Who could ask for more?